If you haven't cemented your relationship with your future in-law's, now is the time to begin.

You're the man who's going to be responsible for someone's daughter. You're the woman who's taking someone's little boy. Even in the best in-law relationships, there's going to be an adjustment period and with the stress of planning a wedding comes the realization that his/her family may not be perfect but you're going to be part of it for the rest of your life.

The most important thing to consider is that your loved one is a product of these wonderful people. You can make your love happy by getting along with their family!

 

“I hate her!!”

“She's trying to run my life and it's making me crazy!”

“He just won't understand I'm grown up now!”

“She's my sister, not my mother, why does she think she can…”

 

When your honey vents about their family, you have a perfect chance to be a good mate. NEVER lose sight of the fact that this vent is a temporary state and while your spouse to be will likely forget everything they've said about their family, they'll REMEMBER every single negative thing you say while agreeing with them.

Don't let your partner's temporary annoyance with their family color your view of them.

 

Each bride in the Bridalzine family is blessed with wonderful in-laws. These amazing people raised the men we love and we love the fact that our spouses adore their parents. We're all so different from our mom-in-laws and having the relationships we now have has meant travelling a road of mutual respect and love. This was a conscious decision that was made in every case. Our mom-in-laws ignored our many flaws and we ignored their few flaws. When there has been a cause for disagreement, we chose to talk it out and get past it.

 

A Bridalzine staffer relates this mother-in-law story

 

“I was extremely intimidated when I met my mother-in-law! She could cook so well that everyone felt she should open her own restaurant. She was a talented artist who could speak a dozen languages and she was tiny and lovely and blonde. As a teen, she'd been imprisoned in Spandau work camp in Berlin for several years and was separated from her family until she found them many years later and yet she was a sunny and funny woman who never spoke of her trials.

 

Around her, I felt gawky and awkward and was afraid to even try cooking for my love because nothing I could make would ever measure up. For the first year of our marriage, I had this feeling inside that my husband was still really his mother's and if she were to snap her fingers, he'd run home to her. I also felt that she was sitting in judgement of me.

 

A year was long enough to learn that my perfect mother-in-law has flaws and I love her for them. She can swear like a longshoreman and if you're foolish enough to get into a discussion with her about history, she'll hold you hostage for hours. She overfeeds her cats and she gives the neighboring cats delicious treats so they like her better than their owners.

 

It turned out that she wasn't going to snap her fingers so I was stuck (and I'm very happy about that) with her son. It also turned out she WAS sitting in judgement of me. Of course she was, just as my mom was sitting in judgement of my husband and I'll be sitting in judgement of my daughter-in-law. It's human nature but the judgement was not a harsh one. She didn't care that I couldn't cook because I always came to her home on Sundays for dinner so she knew her boy was fed at least once a week. I turned out to be an incredible mom when I had her grandchild and her son was happy so she loved me for that.

 

These many years later, I have a wonderful relationship with my mother-in-law. When I lost my mom, she was there for me so powerfully. Telling her I love her comes easy and when she tells me that she loves me, I know it's true. We've had very few conflicts because this sweet woman never complained about my shortcomings to my husband or to me, she likely did what I did when I was frustrated with her and griped to a trusted friend who understood that it was momentary turmoil in a mainly calm relationship.

 

The guides for planning a perfect marriage were written by @BridalZine.com staff and are the exclusive property of Bridalzine©. Do not reproduce this guide on any other website or publication. You are welcome to link to the guide.