January
Sunny - What a wonderful way to start off the New Year! It’s a perfect symbol to celebrate your new lives together. Diva Dianne – Are you crazy? Who the heck gets married in January?? Unless it’s a grand soiree at the stroke of midnight New Year’s, it says to me “I had no choice, I HAD to get married NOW!” Unless you want whispers, pick another month! February
Sunny – This is so sweet! Imagine starting off married life with your Valentine Cutie! You will be the most adored and adorable couple amongst your friends. Diva Dianne - Oh, how nauseating!! A Valentine’s Day Massacre! It’s soooo overdone. I suppose you are gonna put cousin Ralph’s baby in a sash & call him Cupid at your reception? March
Sunny– Wow, what fun it will be, getting a jump on spring. A sign of renewal as you make vows to spend forever together. Diva Dianne – Nothing says, “I can barely afford to put this occasion together” like a chilly March wedding. What are you? An ICE PRINCESS?? Are you going to an Igloo in ALASKA on your Honeymoon? April
Sunny – I can just picture it…soft spring rains as you arrive at the church in a horse-drawn carriage. A delicate parasol accompanying your ensemble. Diva Dianne – Holy Cow! April?? Imagine looking back on those pictures of you & your man drenched by a thunderous downpour. With your swept-up hair falling down & that special touch of mascara running down your face captured on film for an eternity. May
Sunny – A special occasion like this deserves a Special Month like May! Spring Flowers in your Hair and breezes softly blowing. Diva Dianne– Excellent Choice. May symbolizes the first flowers…which of course, brings out the first pollen. Red, swollen eyes & sneezing is verrrrrry attractive. Of course, the alternative of being ‘hopped up’ on Antihistamines is also pretty wonderful! Of course, May is the perfect choice to get married if it’s a “Shotgun wedding”. Think of the savings if you can combine the wedding card with the Mother’s Day card. June
Sunny– Ahhhh, the traditional June Bride! It’s the best time of year to be married. Diva Dianne – YAWWWWWWN. June? Could you BE less imaginative? Imagine how smoothly the planning will go since you & every other crazy engaged woman in town will be fighting over churches, caterers, reception halls & dresses. July
Sunny – Marrying your sweetheart at the height of the summer social season! This is a wonderful choice. All of the Social Etiquette mavens will approve. Diva Dianne– EGAD! How beautiful the bride will be with those big, yellow stains under the arms of your satin wedding dress! JULY?? Where’s the location? South of Hell? August
Sunny– Mmmmmm, a wonderful summer breeze playing gently upon you as you take your vows in the countryside. A beautiful backdrop provided by Mother Nature to compliment the whole affair! Diva Dianne – Perfect choice, girlfriend. Lemme guess, you’re gonna have an OUTDOOR wedding, too, aren’t you? That will be great, especially when a bee gets trapped in your crinolines & stings the life outta you! Or the onslaught of ants (not to mention AUNT’S) at your reception dinner. September
Sunny– Ahhh, the first hint of fall. The gentle glow of the sunset at your candlelight reception dinner, rustic colours chosen to decorate, and nature’s gifts (leaves, cornucopia, cute little pumpkins) for centrepieces. Diva Dianne – September? You must be joking! It’s football season…do you really think you can lure your man away from the tube long enough to get a tuxedo on? October
Sunny– Autumn’s grace upon you, it will be a blessing to have your wedding in October. A magical, colourful month with the leaves turning vibrant hues & the hint of cool winds on the horizon. Diva Dianne – Excellent choice, Elvira. A Hallowe’en Wedding……although I guess that it fits, since you are gonna be trussed up like some gawdawful fairy princess. Not to mention the toad beside you dressed as a prince. Too bad you’ll both turn into pumpkins at midnight. November
Sunny– What a beautiful bride you will make with an ermine shawl wrapped around you for your crisp November wedding. This is a great time to wed, at the height of the festive season between Thanksgiving and Christmas. You will be the talk of the town. Diva Dianne – What?? Was the hall already booked in March?? You turkey, who gets married this late in the year? December
Sunny– A wonderful way to celebrate your union, with the magic of Christmas all around you. I wouldn’t be surprised if Santa, himself, doesn’t show up at this event! Diva Dianne
– Geeze, don’t you realize that you have screwed yourself out of good wedding
presents?? You’ll might as well register at Discount Dan’s, because
your guests will be too tapped out buying Pokemon & Nintendo for their
kids to get you the gifts & cash that you want!
And finally, JEMM Says - Okay, you’ve guessed it…Sunny has been happily married to her highschool sweetheart for the last 10 years and was a June bride. Dianne has been to the altar twice…Once in Vegas (She refuses to tell us the month, but evidently it only lasted 12 days!) and the second time in September in New York. (Wellll, technically, she made it to the church, but dashed off and left the groom standing before she got to the altar!) Whatever month you decide to get married
will be special and symbolic to you & your husband to be. Don’t
sweat what other people will have to say. EVERYONE will have an opinion,
but YOU need to decide when is the best time for the 2 of you to get married!
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