Stroke of midnight at the new millennium, bells are tolling, fireworks
are popping, strangers are kissing and ‘Auld Lang Syne-ing’, and the love
of your life is on bended knee telling you he'd like to spend the next
thousand years with you.
Flash forward one
week, the families & friends have all been told and the date is set…Now
your fiancé has turned over the wedding planning reins to you, just
before dashing off into the sunset with barely a cry of “Heigh Ho, Amanda,
Away! See you in September at the church in my rented Tuxedo.
Happy Planning!”
So, what do you
do to corral him? How do you MAKE a grown man do something he doesn't
want to do? Some will say that centuries have taught women that whining,
pleading, begging, crying and withholding sex will do the trick. But maybe
a different tact will work too…
Here are a few
things to keep in mind when trying to involve your great love in the more
mundane tasks of wedding plans.
1. Lower your Expectations
– Sure, in a perfect, Utopian society, Prince Charming will sweep you off
of your feet and the castle servants will handle all of the planning and
the grunt work. In reality, you need to realize that this man
does love you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you (Don't forget
that romantic proposal!), but he may not be quite so enthused about every
single minute detail that goes into putting your 'grand affair’ together.
(“Honey, I really need your opinion….should the napkins be Eggshell, Almond,
Crème or Ecru??) Knowing this and keeping it in perspective
will help to save your sanity!
2. Pick your Battles
– There are a million decisions to be made. If he is reticent about
involving himself in the planning, then make sure that when you have captured
his (short, wandering) attention span, the decisions you involve him in
count!
3. Pavlov's Dogs!
– This is a great way to get him to participate….”Honey, help me decide
on the Photographer and the Caterer this afternoon & then tonight I’ll
put off renting ‘Shakespeare in Love’ again and you can go out with the
boys for a BEER!” ***Never underestimate the power of beer!
(Think Homer Simpson!)
4. Listen to Him
... This is a novel approach, but, ya know? Even ‘Rain Man’ had flashes
of brilliance every once in a while! (“42 Toothpicks”). You just
never know when his thoughts or input may be relevant. In between,
Hey, why don't we put a bowl of Pork Rinds on every table?... and, I know!
Let's set up a big screen T.V. near the bar so we can all watch the Hockey
Playoffs!”, there might be a rational, sane idea.
5. K.I.S.S. – Yep.
Pucker up and give him a good smack on the lips to shut him up when he
says something silly, OR remember the ‘Keep It Simple, Sister!” principle.
He's never done anything like this before, but his heart is in the right
place. In this scenario, talk to him like he's four!
6. Take the time
to De-Stress. Don't lose sight of the fact that he's the one you love.
You like spending time with him even when he exasperates you. You
love the way he sings off key. You love how his bear hugs nearly
knock the wind out of you. You love the way his eyes crinkle when
he smiles. Weddings can drive brides-to-be into a frenzy. Make
sure you take the time to just be a ‘couple in love’. Plan some outings,
go on dates, give each other a backrub, make sure you back away from the
Wedding Planner every once in a while. Take some time to smell the
roses, even if they are the roses that he gave you to apologize for that
thing that he did that he can't remember, but he knows you're mad and needed
to make up for it!
Seriously, men these
days are becoming much more enlightened and want to help. They ARE
willing to choose between posies and petunias and between chicken and roast
beef. Make sure that you take a minute every once in a while to laugh
and have fun together. This is a very special time in your life that
doesn't last for very long. ENJOY!
go
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